This weekend I've been feeling so pragmatic, so pensive - and with that comes the satisfaction. The fullness. The softness of lying around doing nothing, having to sit still because your mind is stewing over such important things. I like that my brain is doing all this work for me under the surface, that I don't know exactly what I'm stewing over but I can feel it moving inside me. I'll come out of this weekend changed and new.

I'm finding that when I sing along to music my eyes will burn and then, I'm crying. That is the best thing; the realization that what I'm feeling is so powerful that it has to physically bleed out of me.

It might have been the hospital stay. The IV's, daily blood drawing, twice a day being shot in the stomach so painfully that I couldn't help but cry - no matter how embarassing it is to cry in front of strangers. It put being stagnant and unentertained back into my blood.

I'm excited. Something is building, something good worth teeth clenching and crying out of happiness. Something worth creating over.

Missed anything?
livejournal - 2005-03-02
romantic love - 2005-03-02
caitlin and i - 2005-02-28
the backyard - 2005-02-28
together - 2005-02-27