Everything's not lost. I'm getting steadily better.
By the way, this whole past week I've been PMSing as well as dealing with post-breakup stress. So if I was the epitome of the stereotypical woman, I apoligize.
I think I've been focousing more on how to deal with it than actually dealing with it. I get so scared of crying that I actually induce panic attacks upon myself. In class I'll start to hypervenilate while thinking about my bloodclots. Holding things in causes stress, I need to vent.