Today was sunny and full. I am Joel's best friend. And that's okay. And it's not that hard to hang out with him... after we've both cried and hugged, and he presses his face against my sweater just to smell me. When we're lying on our backs in the park blocks starring at the trees above us. Daisy Kingdom had closed.

All my flimsy teenage girl delusions are falling away, and I can see him as a real person. It's refreshing.

I feel like I've taken a step back into childhood introspection. I am too aloof to make friends and join in group conversation, and I don't care about all this rejection. Fucking backstabbing bullshit. I am above it, and it keeps me from being hurt. I hate women. I'm learning how to be Joel. I don't really get worked up about anything anymore, it's just calm and wonderful.

Missed anything?
livejournal - 2005-03-02
romantic love - 2005-03-02
caitlin and i - 2005-02-28
the backyard - 2005-02-28
together - 2005-02-27